2004 Election Drinking Game

Kudos to Get More Ass (Brian McQuirk) for the rules to follow while watching election returns this evening:

Ok, here we go. And remember, um, drink responsibly and shit...

Take one full shot every time...

• Ann Coulter comes out of the crypt and onto your screen
• Tim Russert eyes his marker board lustfully
• A swing state goes for Kerry (two for Bush, the logic being that you should forget it as soon as possible)
• The current President of the United States concedes the election (two if he takes it back)

Finish your drink and the next one as fast as
possible if:

• Kerry wins Texas
• Bush wins Massachusetts
• Nader wins... anything, actually
• I win my bet.

Take one sip every time...

• Someone says 'landslide'
• Karl Rove's name is mentioned
• Someone says 'turnout'
• There's a Taco Bell commercial
• Someone says 'bloodletting'
• There's an update on racist vote-challenging in Ohio
• TerAIZa comes on screen
• Bill Clinton comes on screen (um, pardon the pun)
• Chris Matthews screams (optional - we don't want any alcohol poisoning)
• Someone says 'Vietnam'
• Judy Woodruff looks like she's hitting on America from across the room at an over-50 single's night at a country club (again, optional due to potential abuse)
• Wolf Blitzer says something that's supposed to be dramatic but just sounds asonine (should be optional, but no, no you're gonna need that extra liquid courage to get through
  it)

More after my Hindi class. And yes I'm gonna be playing by these rules.

I hope that everyone's bar is well-stocked.